Love this movie,

Pensive

Im a GLEEK.

I've Never

I've never been considered "smart" amongst the people i know. people see me as the joker or the friend to hang around when you have no one else. ive always been friends with people smarted than me. people that are going places and doing things with their lives while i just sit there all alone and watch those people living their lives. i want to be smart, im tired of feeling stupid in everything i do. i cried tonight over my stats homework. i got to the second question and just got so pissed at myself and started to cry. i feel pathetic. it sucks because its not like im not paying attention and im slacking off, im really really trying and i still dont get it. what makes me even more mad is the people that do slack off and dont pay attention in class or whatever and get everything the first time it is explained. i have a stats test tomorrow and i have a nagging feeling im going to fail. im tired of being a failure. i got a B on my last stats test and my mom was thrilled. i hate seeing her when i dont do good. i hate it because i want her to know im trying and to see im improving but as hard as i try it never seems to make a difference. im so frustrated.

Tennage Dream,

You think I'm pretty
Without any make-up on
You think I'm funny
When I tell the puch line wrong
I know you get me
So I'll let my walls come down, down

Before you met me
I was a wreck
But things were kinda heavy
You brought me to life
Now every February
You'll be my valentine, valentine

Let's go all the way tonight
No regrets, just love
We can dance until we die
You and I
We'll be young forever

You make me
Feel like
I'm living a Teenage Dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's runaway
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

We drove to Cali
And got drunk on the beach
Got a motel and
Built a fort out of sheets
I finally found you
My missing puzzle piece
I'm complete

Let's go all the way tonight
No regrets, just love
We can dance until we die
You and I
We'll be young forever

You make me
Feel like
I'm living a Teenage Dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's runaway
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

I might get your heart racing
In my skin-tight jeans
Be your teenage dream tonight

Let you put your hands on me
In my skin-tight jeans
Be your teenage dream tonight

You make me
Feel like
I'm living a Teenage Dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's runaway
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back


i hope im lucky enough to find someone that makes me feel like this one day<3

#12 Fall in love

The dog days are over,

i find it quite annoying how ignorant some people can be. whether its cutting someone off(thanks for that by the way you are so super cool i want to be just like you..not.) or cutting someone completely off for no good reason. keep in mine that yes i too have cut people off and and not told them why, but not for no good reason. there is a method to my madness, most of the time and i just want to stay away from the drama. so i guess a thank you is in order. thank you person i have known for 3 years who has recently cut me off for no good reason. thank you because now i dont have to listen to you all the time, i dont have to constantly listen to all your drama and lies and feel as though none of my concerns matter. because of you annonymous person, i am drama free and i dont have to deal with anymore of your B.S.

as for you cool person who cut me off..nice hair. ha. i have so much hate towards you and your...turqois haired "friend" that it seriously baffles me. i find you to be the most ignorant and newly concieted person i have ever met. congrats to you and your narcissism, i hope its worth everything.

My Irritation

I must be the worst friend there is. I am constantly finding friends that are just too immature to handle situations or be honest. Why is this? Im literally a magnet for these kind of people. Im so annoyed right now. I have to go to this stupid back to school dance because my mother told me I had to and so I asked...3 friends of mine if they would "please please please" go with me. Their response? "of course!!" But did any of them buy tickets?...NO. Thanks guys. If they had asked me I would have followed through and Im just mad because I ask them to do one thing and we would stay for like an hour and they cant do it. Im so...I dont even know! Im annoyed to the point I dont even want to be around these people. And the worst part seems to be they dont even realize Im mad and dont think they have done anything wrong at all. Dont understand why I cant be like everyone else and have good friends that stay through thick and thin. I basically found that one person that would do that for me and destroyed our friendship.

On the bright side, there is no way I am getting into a good 4 year college. -sarcasm I went to my counselor to see what I needed to do because I obviously have things I need to make up and start before college is even an option, and she got the lovely pleasure of telling me I would have to get a 4.0 to even be considered and even that might not help. I then went to lunch where one of my friends got irritated with me because I was a little upset and about to cry. She told me to not worry about it and I shouldnt be upset and that was dumb because there was nothing I could do now, which I understand but damn! So much for being sensitive and reasuring. I mean isnt it kind of in the friend code to be there for your friend and tell them everything will be okay even if it wont? I might be being a little sensitive but I guess it was just the way it was said...and the fact she has two schools chasing her to give her a complete ride to college. A little annoyed..same friend who promised me she would go to the dance and now..."Im ridin solo."


Im so dissapointed in myself. Cant imagine what my mother will think. My dad? Nah he wont care. He doesnt even care enough to call. Its been what? Just over a year now? Yep. Dad of the year right there. So Thank You Dad. Thank You friend. Thank You to all the people that dont think I can make it. You guys are just my motivation to do something useful with my life. You are my inspiration to keep going and to be the complete opposite of what you are. I will make it one day. I am going to work my ass off this year.

Thank You.


#10 Ride on a motorcycle.