felling a change

in who i associate myself with. my best friend has become a jackass, my other best friend was with me on that idea until recently. kind of annoying but if she wants to be used then thats her deal. i just want a friend that doesnt use me. just one. i need to find new friends. i cant be stuck with the same old people my whole life. felling like im being held back sometimes. im completely different from my friends. i need people that like to do what i like and there is a give and take in the relationship, not just a take. i think when i sign up for my new classes this upcoming semester things will get better. i hope they will.



i like how i just coorilate my whole life with different songs:)

i guess im down for whatever..

i think im finally getting over my self pity party. i tried with this guy. its not happening i see that now. i hope there is someone out there better for me. i cant wait to go to real college and be away from all the little boys around here. not worth my time. im down to go out and meet new people and stop worrying about the stupid little things..stupid little boys. back to my summer mentality..just not as severe. im excited to just have fun. i want to work on me. i need to scheduale classes find a job i love so i dont hate going all the time and surround myself with people who matter and wont cause drama. no guys for a while. none. i dont care if hes seemingly perfect..they never are and i need to be stable in my own life and self before i take part in a relationship. i deserve someone better than you.

it gets harder everyday.

last night was pretty terrible. being turned down and told that someone wont date you...but finding out they are dating someone else when they supposedly had a rule for themselves to not date..hmm. there might be something wrong with me i just havent figured it out yet. possibly a physical matter? an intelligence factor? i havent found out yet why exactly i seem to be so repulsed by some people. so i think for now getting #Stupidfacedd seems to be the best idea at this moment in time. might regret it later but you only regret it if you dont learn..maybe ill learn sometihng tonight. heres hoping its why im undateable...

if youre a bird, im a bird...

i hate walking around and seeing people together. found a guy. seemed picture perfect. i was wrong..yet again. so tired of wanting something that is just so apparently not going to happen for me. its just been a bad day. im over wanting the same thing all the time. i want to be of the norm and fit in with everyone else. i want to find someone i can be with that will love me.